friendship | odatblog

I have a friend, a very close friend, who said this all the time. I would roll my eyes and sigh, because no, I wasn’t. Life was hard, didn’t he know that? Yes, I would laugh, and do things that were suppose to be enjoyable, but deep deep down, life is just plain hard, so no, I wasn’t having fun…yet.

My friend’s no longer here and I miss him saying this. If you had asked me what I would have missed most about this wonderful man, I wouldn’t have said I miss “are we having fun yet” but I do. In hindsight I realize that everything he did was with the goal of enjoying life and helping others to enjoy theirs. While he was here with us, I thought he was a really good friend, who know how to laugh and make life fun when you were in his presence, but I didn’t realize that this was his mantra, the words and goal that he lived his life by and brought to everyone else’s life. I miss him. I miss hearing these words. This is a reflection on am I having fun yet?

When life hits you hard or when it has just hit it is important to remember the good things. I am good at beating myself up and I have had to been taught to be good to me. I use to struggle with this lesson; now I just enjoy learning it.

These are the things I have learned that I love.

I love purple. I love how strong a color it can be and yet how gentle and soft it can also be. I love that I can accomplish much in a day because I have a love to be productive and I have an appreciation of life. I love to make things; I have an artsy crafty side that makes me smile when I explore it. I love the sun. I love the clouds and laying on a patch of grass or a sandy beach looking up at them. I love the stars; the awe in which they hang in the sky. How did God do that? Why did He do that? Did He know they would make lots of us smile or is that just a byproduct of creating beauty?

I love to ride a bike in a gentle breeze feeling the wind on my face. I love Starbucks coffee, toffee nut latte, yum. I love the smell of homemade bread. I love a fireplace and the warmth it gives off. I love watching a good flick with popcorn, hot and buttery. I love holidays so I can play and have fun. I love wildlife and nature. I love having coffee with a friend and chatting to your hearts content. I love finding out what someone likes and then exploring the world through their eyes. I love knowing that I can see past my own viewpoints and visions and today be able to see yours. I love that I can take part in your laughter, our laughter and that I have learned how to smile much more than I cry.

I could go on and on. Today I am choosing to live life to the fullest. Love like I have never loved before. And laugh.

I miss you my friend. Thanks for the memories and for opening my heart. And yes, I’m having fun.

What are your special loves?

I still experience problems with my relationships with other people.

My problems today involve my ability to get along with other people – I find the gossiping, back-biting and back-stabbing hateful, cruel and hurtful. I do not seem to have the defenses to deal with this stuff. I have been taught that living in this world means living with all people and accepting them as they are; this is very important to my sanity. I am also a firm believer of “this too shall pass”. I know one day these people will have another “favourite” topic.

I do have some very simple but effective things to combat this negativity. Firstly, I pray for those who are being unpleasant and let God have them and the problems they are causing. I don’t do this because I’m smug or think I’m better than them, but because it reminds me that I can’t change other people, only God can do that, and it also reminds me I have no control over the situation. And next, I have been told to “do something good/nice for someone and don’t get found out”. It helps to put the focus back on kindness and no yakity yaking.

So my question to you is, how do you behave or what do you do when you are having problems with people in your life? What do you do to make and keep friends?